Unphotographable, Part Two
This is a photograph I did not take
Of an old man mopping floors:
From overhead, this painter
Smears reds on antiseptic canvas,
A custodial Cotán, he tends
The stilled life of ventricle flowers.
With every stroke,
The diluted blossoms fade
Until little remains
But the hush of ghosts
Carrying home another quieted pulse.
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A second tribute piece to Unphotographable.com. See Part One
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Comments
I hope you will not take it the wrong way, you suggested to me to avoid using gerunds so I would say try to avoid them also:) but I like the piece, I am searching for the first part. Can I join your gang here?
Mar 24 2009
Thanks for the comment, Klaus.
I'm such a hypocritical writer sometimes. This piece was plagued with gerunds, but I've made some edits and managed to remove several of them. Let me know what you think. I hope you'll comment on some of my other works.
Oh well I should thank you for bringing about it to my attention, now I am avoiding using gerunds as much as possible.
The edited version is a masterpiece on its own now.