Piano notes chime quiet
Cool between us
In the empty air
Filled, for once,
With the vacancy
Of our open voices.
Your eyes tremble,
As they ought to,
And my lip shakes,
As I wish it wouldn't;
I'll say it first:
"I guess this is goodbye."
Piano notes chime quiet
Drowning your reply.
"I guess this is goodbye."
The empty air trembles
Cool between us
And our open voices
Echo the vacancy
We've opened
In each others' heart.
Comments
Apr 5 2009
Silence, sometimes the loudest sound. You captured that perfectly.
Apr 5 2009
again, another song reminding poem - this one brings to mind ...fail, i can't remember the title but it's by thou shalt not
Apr 9 2009
First thing that stands out to me is that I think you meant for the second line to actually be two lines. "Cool between us / In the empty air". Otherwise that "In" shouldn't be capitalized.
Well written and I love how you bring back the opening lines at the end. A powerful piece.
Mar 24 2009
Unsure how that slipped by. Thanks.
Apr 5 2009
@ Diana - you're good- or we're all -really- bad
Apr 9 2009
Hehe, I prefer to think that I'm just that good.
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