Fingernails



If I murdered just a part of you,
It’d be the acrylics on your fingertips:
Ersatz talons, no matter how they curve.
You would turn a tiger into a canary.
Grow gnarled and ragged.
Grind your claws sharp on the whetstone.
If you cannot draw blood,
You will fail.

Comments

Raeven
Raeven's picture
User offline. Last seen 16 weeks 5 days ago. Offline
Joined:
Apr 5 2009

the end of this leaves me with a hanging feeling i wish i could explain

T
T's picture
User offline. Last seen 5 weeks 2 days ago. Offline
Joined:
Apr 5 2009

Is it an epic fail? Tongue

Diana
Diana's picture
User offline. Last seen 1 week 6 days ago. Offline
Joined:
Apr 9 2009

Mm, I'm finding that there's some connections only made with difficulty here. Such as connection a tiger to a canary. I can understand not wanting to make a typical connection, but this one may be a bit too large of a leap.

I might also drop the line "Grow gnarled and ragged." It seems out of place after the tiger and canary line and doesn't particularly fit with the line that follows.

Other than that, I think this is a rather nice piece. I like how it almost translates back to the phrase 'urban jungle'. Our world has transformed us into creatures that could no longer properly survive in a natural setting.

Well done.

Char
Char's picture
User offline. Last seen 10 weeks 15 min ago. Offline
Joined:
Oct 30 2009

I've known women like this.

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Textual smileys will be replaced with graphical ones.
  • Make collapsible text blocks using [spoiler] and [/spoiler].
  • You can use BBCode tags in the text.

More information about formatting options

You can change the default for this field in "Comment follow-up notification settings" on your account edit page.
CAPTCHA
This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.