Crush



I want to enter your lips
Doors of crushed red fruit
And crush your lush lips
Against me.
Your hips beneath my hand
Crush the red mattress,
Your hips, flushed
Like your lips and your lips,
Move for me,
Moan for me,
Gush from the crush of your lips,
Rosy waves on a velvet sea
For me, for me.

Comments

Raeven
Raeven's picture
User offline. Last seen 16 weeks 5 days ago. Offline
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Apr 5 2009

ok, yeah, i'm just a sucker for your sexy poems Tongue

T
T's picture
User offline. Last seen 5 weeks 2 days ago. Offline
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Apr 5 2009

Lots of use of the hues of red. Interesting.

Raeven
Raeven's picture
User offline. Last seen 16 weeks 5 days ago. Offline
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Apr 5 2009

*laughs* yeah, the color kinda kills me, cause i always think of orange crush (liek the soda Tongue)

Diana
Diana's picture
User offline. Last seen 1 week 6 days ago. Offline
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Apr 9 2009

The repetitiveness almost works here, though it makes part of me flinch to read line 3 so close on line 1 and then to have line 8 thrown in afterwards... I understand it's simply how the poem works, but it makes me wonder if there isn't a better way to do it.

And if that is how the poem works, then the second to last line throws me. After so many blunt words, throwing in rosy and velvet almost seem to clash.

An interesting idea, though I'm not sure how well it worked overall.

Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

maybe its meant to clash though?
It just seems to deliberate to not be.
I absolutely love it, though. Fantastic imagery.

Lamasym
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User offline. Last seen 5 days 9 hours ago. Offline
Joined:
Jan 14 2010

Your imagery is awesome. It draws a person into the moment. I love that about your poetry.

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