A Thirtieth of Judas
He places a Kennedy half-dollar
Between her parted lips,
Payment for services rendered,
Or damages rent:
A bit of blood and a silver piece,
A thirtieth of Judas
And a fifth of some other spirit.
This is either congratulations
Or reparations.
She licks her lips,
And sets to making preparations.
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Comments
Apr 5 2009
Haha.. wow this is umm interesting.
Apr 5 2009
grrr-fifth of what other spirit? i'm off my game lately...
Mar 24 2009
A play on words: spirit meaning alcohol.
Apr 5 2009
*headdesk* fail for me. i can't wait to graduate and get my brain back ><
Apr 9 2009
I like the overall idea, the comparison is well done. The mention of blood as another sort of spirits is particularly fun.
The only point that seems odd in my eyes is what preparations she's making if services have already been rendered, it makes the reader question the timeline of the piece.
Ergh, I got confused because the placing of the coin on the lips made me think of the Greek funerary custom of placing a coin on their dead to pay for the Styxian ferry man. It made the last pair of lines jarring when I realized the girl was still alive and had to go back to reinterpret. Actually, it still sorta works for me, because I'd consider being in that sort of situation something of a living death. I don't know if that's what you were going for, though.
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